Chances are, you have spent the last part of your life going out of your way to consider the emotional needs of another human being. Often, you have probably put these needs ahead of your own. Many people feel immediate resentment about the fact that all of their efforts at pleasing and caring for their spouse have gone for naught, but the truth is that the decision was theirs, and theirs alone. It is an incredibly important first step to end this resentment by beginning the journey of taking care of yourself.
The most immediate concern for most people in the process of a divorce is to deal with their outward appearance. The fact is, that married people are generally softer than our single counterparts. When I found myself staring down the barrel of a divorce, I was the heaviest I have ever been. That is saying a great deal for a fellow that had struggled with his weight for the majority of his life. Believe it or not, this is actually the easiest part of the journey. Cooking for one makes selecting healthy meal choices a great deal easier. With nobody else to be concerned with, broccoli makes a lot more sense! Don't be afraid to use revenge as a motivating factor...to an extent. For me, the thought of my ex seeing me in all my muscular glory kept my eyes on the prize.
Filling the time is always something with which most people really struggle. Having been with someone for an extended period of time, often, leads to a great deal of down time after beginning the divorce process. For me, I found that reconnecting with my friends made a world of difference. I am not a natural communicator of my feelings. The last thing that I wanted to do was talk about the situation. My good friends were very respectful of my obvious lack of desire to discuss my marital difficulties, and we just did the things that made us friends in the first place. Whether you're seeking a shoulder to cry on, or just some diversion from the demons that come out when you're alone, true friends will always be there for you. Make sure to use the resource.
This may, also, be an excellent time to recommit yourself to your career. Many of the feelings of self doubt and lack of worth can be offset by praise from employers and contemporaries. With more time on your hands, you can really focus on achievement. You would be absolutely amazed at how far a well earned "attaboy/attagirl" will go from a respected colleague or boss. Nothing in the world makes most folks feel better than success. Rededicating yourself to professional achievement can make a huge difference in your immediate sense of well-being.
Everyone has heard the term, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" Well, you have been given as large a basket of lemons as most people get the misfortune of receiving in their lifetime. Without sounding trite, the sooner you get through squeezing all those lemons, the sooner you get to enjoy glass after glass of the cold, sweet beverage that life has to offer. Obviously, three little tidbits of advice will not necessarily heal the emotional damage that the situation has caused, but I fell like they certainly helped me. Hopefully, they can do the same for you!
